• As a non football fan, this summarizes my thoughts…
  • 9.69 seconds…
  • Family gatherings…
  • When I see stores with Christmas decorations…
  • Count to 3 and toss it as far as you can…
  • Time to clean my room
  • Twitter is that you?
  • Reasons I make any noise in the shower
  • Switch it
  • They’re your best friends for a reason
  • The world’s biggest tragedy
  • You just offended the owl